There are so many thoughts running through my head, I wish they would slow down...
As the wound on Mom's back shrinks, as the medicine is stopping the infection that has had free reign in her body for who knows how long, as she has so many people doing for her, she is slowing down to a stop.
It takes forever just to walk from her chair to her bedroom. It's a major ordeal to get her into the car for doctor visits. She complains about her groin and the pain there when walking. Knowing she has a wheelchair for when we go out, she is angling for it to be brought into the house. I keep telling her that to give in and stop walking is to stop living and the next step is a nursing home...
She is eating enough to stay alive but wonders why she is always nauseated...I can't get her to understand her stomach is crying out for food!!! Of course, Sally has shared that stopping eating is part of the end process...
When asked if she is ready to stop trying to get better, she is appalled that I would even ask, so I have to remind her of her reluctance in doing the things needed to get well.
I have a monitor to listen for her when she is in her room. She does not know that it is there. When she is alone, she does not make a lot of noise, but when I am in the room, the noise and faces she makes just to turn over in bed is laughable. Almost like a small child "playing" her parent...
She calls me into the room to scratch her arm!!! The part that itches is under a sleeve covering the PICC line and she says she doesn't know where to scratch without pulling something. I can understand her reluctance to scratch what she can't see, but come on...to call me from another room just to scratch an arm??? I tell her to scratch till she hits something that hurts, then stop...
Gotta go. Doctors to see today. Getting into a car with faulty air conditioning with an old lady, a little girl, and an old man. Thank you Lord for another opportunity to call on Your name and trust that You will be the peace in my day, amen.
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