I am sitting here on the sofa. It's not too early, but still morning. Mom is sitting in her chair. Harry is at the Sunday morning meeting. We are enjoying a cup of coffee.
I was about to make a comment. It was not of any importance, but just a thought to be shared...
Then I considered how I would have to talk very loud for Mom to hear, repeat my thought a few times until Mom understood it, and then listen to Mom answer with a comment completely unrelated to my thought.
Therefore, I said nothing.
I mourn the loss of conversation with Mom. I can't share too many things with her. If it's about the kids, she gets very upset, worried, frustrated, mad, etc. depending on the comment, and then worries about it for days. She builds on it in her mind and changes the information...then she speaks the wrong information which becomes her reality...it's hard to correct her thoughts...
As hard as it is on me, I can't even begin to imagine how frustrating it must be for Mom. I know she wants to be involved with what is going on, but even when she hears, she doesn't always understand...
Helping her keep up with the conversation by repeating what was said does not always work. Not hearing when someone else is talking and trying to talk herself is frustrating to those in the conversation, but also sorrowful to me to see it happening. Having to stop her speaking because someone else is speaking must hurt her feelings, but the one speaking also has feelings about being interrupted...
I feel I am always in the middle trying to keep the peace with all the members of the household. I seem to spend all my time stroking egos!
And I still don't get to say my comment because I would have to shout it, repeat it, explain it, etc. etc. etc.
So, never mind!
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