It has been several months since I have been able to add any news due to several happenings. Here is my story of woe!
Shortly after the last installment, I was careless while on the back patio and managed to trip and fall flat on my face. With arms outstretched to try to catch myself, I was in the perfect position to shatter my humerus in my shoulder joint. A quick trip to the emergency room and $3,000 dollars later, I was told I had broken my arm and it would need surgery to fix it.
Very long story, short, surgery came eleven days later. Recovery is still taking place and I am slowly, slowly getting my arm to be useful if not back to normal.
How does this impact my home life and Mom? Well, as Mom declines in health and her physical needs increase, I have been "running" double time to keep up with her needs and my needs. And I have finally admitted I have lost that race.
Although I have great help from Harry and the girls, they are not the ones to care for Mom. Having only one usable arm, it is not possible to do all the things she needs. So with that in mind, I had to make the hard decision of letting her move into the care of professional caregivers. A nursing home! The one place I had hoped she would never have to see!
Mike, Laurie and Harry supported me in this decision and in the carrying out of it. The family around the US also supported the decision and sent their prayers to ease my mind. It was not an easy move to make and Mom is still having trouble understanding it. She wants to come home (where ever that it).
She has been in the Care Center since July 6, 2011 and she is still not adjusting too good. The staff there are very supportive and reassure us that although it will take time, she will come to enjoy it there. She is in a single room, so it's like a little apartment for her. She can come and go around the place but chooses to stay in her room most days.
The staff will get her up and going to the cafeteria for breakfast and lunch, but most days she eats dinner in her room. I keep telling her she is not in a hospital and she needs to think of the place as home. She has selective hearing!!!
A typical visit starts with a smile of greeting and a few minutes of good talk. Then, she starts to cry and ask to be taken home. She agrees the people there are kind, but she just wants to get out. When I try to make her admit to her weaknesses, she decides she is tired and wants to go to bed. So, she lays down, and dozes. Then within a few minutes, I can wake her for a goodbye kiss. She smiles and says bye. I leave.
I was told she was playing bingo and enjoying it, but when Lisa went to visit and found her playing, within minutes Mom was weepy and feeling bad and wanted to go to her room. So Lisa took her to her room. Melissa had just arrived for a visit and Lisa and Melissa talked while Mom slept! Mom remembers Lisa's visit, but does not remember Melissa's visit. What??
I sat with Mom one day out in a gathering room. A gentleman rolled up and started talking to us. He was able to carry on a conversation and talked about himself and his life. Mom sat like a lump and did not lift her head to enter into the conversation. It was a good conversation and she should have had lots to add to it. When I got her back to her room, I asked why she did not talk. She said she was listening...
I told Mom I could not be happy for her. She would have to find her happiness. If she refuses to enter in to the activities of the Care Center, then I guess she will be one unhappy old lady. No response to that comment...
On July 15, Aunt Vicki passed away after several months in a nursing home. She had major health issues and after suffering for a while, the Lord showed mercy and released her from this life. She was ready to go. I was able to visit with her twice over the last few weeks of her life, and she said she wanted to die. So, she did.
I have not told Mom about her sister dieing. They were twins and I am afraid she would spiral down health wise and mentally if told. So unless she outright asks me about her sister, I will let the information rest. I guess I will find out if that decision will come back and bite me on the butt, ha ha.
I could complain for several more paragraphs, but I will stop for now...
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